I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
