There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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