I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
