Me too!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
