the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
