I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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