Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
