My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
