HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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