I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
