your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
