he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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