he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
