Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
