if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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