Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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