Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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