Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
