my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
