we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
