I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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