Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He better not be in your backpack
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
