and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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