You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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