so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
