discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
