I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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