69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
whose parrot is this?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
