"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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