so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
