You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
