If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
