Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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