Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
