and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
