I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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