Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
