you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
