If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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