Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
