He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
