I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
