He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
