Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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