dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
