wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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