idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
