If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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