Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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