i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
