i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
