I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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