i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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