its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
