Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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